Archive for April, 2017

from the little witch

To see your happy family photo gets me going, striving to make a happy family of my own. I know I can’t make it a complete photo since we can never drag an unhappy person, but I am quite content with just three people there.

It was quite a long battle to be honest with myself and a bigger challenge to live with the consequences—you know, accept it and live on.

It’s always been you, but pride and wrong choices were the top priorities of those days. We were young then and I only wanted someone to stay forever, as if forever is real.

No, I am not trying to persuade you or convince myself with anything that would complicate lives. I am merely expressing myself now because I can. There’s a certain liberating effect to this. I am not afraid anymore, not ashamed. I’ve been hurt more than I expected, and a few good things I learned from those experiences were that I should be true and compassionate to myself. They shield me from the bombarding of negative energies.

These days, things are bearable. Loneliness is becoming a close friend. I don’t feel that alone anymore because I know my worth.

As I see your photo, I keep my head above my heart and I smile. I know you made a good decision. I made mine a good one too.

As I see your smile, I remind myself to carry on and that I have forgiven myself.

Love can let go. Love can love from afar and still go on with life with gratefulness and delight. It doesn’t have to be hurting—bittersweet, maybe, but never remorseful.

Just like what Maria said, “Love isn’t love ‘til you give it away.” So be it because such is life.


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The Lucid Hours

musings of the wicked

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Chronicles of a silly geek trying to streamline and simplfy amidst faith, work, marriage and motherhood

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