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We celebrate mother’s day today, Sunday, 12th of May. My kids are still young to really get into the groove of assembling a breakfast in bed for me. But they sleepily greeted me first thing this morning! As the posts flooded the social media sites, I read a lot of happy moments with older kids and husbands celebrating with their amazing moms. Then there’s a pang of sadness. In me. It saddens me to think I don’t get to celebrate it with my husband. He’s way into other things than celebrating mother’s day. Didn’t even greet his own mom. This made me discard an expectation I’m sure every woman has–the sweet partner. I don’t have that. As of this moment, I cannot count on him on that department. I understand that he’s maybe a shy soul and needs a little push toward the soft side of life. Life as a mom and wife are two totally–like 180 degree–different things for me. Yes, I wish these roles can run parallel like blades on a roller skates. Not today and maybe not on the morrow or the next couple of weeks. I only have Buddha to thank for his wisdom: stop expecting and you have everything. Well, we have to make happy happens. I will make happy happen on Father’s Day next month. 🙂

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Tomorrow, Monday, 13th of May is election day. I swear until now I don’t know whom to vote for. I went home today to greet my mom and to give her a little gift and to talk to them about tomorrow’s event. Unfortunately, both were busy. I only had like five minutes of looking at their faces and talking hurriedly. I gathered that they would vote for someone they believe is the right guy to get us out of the current mire we are in. You see, my parents live in the slums, in the place called Alaska where the name’s origin was from the question, “Alas ka?” (Are you an ace?) which denotes the characteristics of the ace from a deck of cards. We belong to a place where gambling and criminals used to thrive. As the years passed, a lot of people changed and a lot more people came to live in Alaska. However, the fact still stands that we are squatters. We need the government to assure that we stay in Alaska for the years to come. We need someone who can hear, will listen, and will act on our needs. I was shocked to hear the candidate my parents are voting for as mayor. But I know and believe that they are good folks. They don’t think for themselves only. They think for the majority. My mom is an NGO volunteer. She works around a scholarship program as a secretary. She sews uniforms and helps kids to qualify for scholarships. She is also a member of the board of trustees in the urban group of our sitio. I know she fights for the rights of our people in her own way. I can say she’s Gabriela Silang without the itak (bolo). I stand what my mom stands for. She says she will vote for this man, I will vote for that man too.

I didn’t vote for three consecutive elections and my name was erased from the master list. I had to endure a half day of processing my re-registration in the COMELEC. So much for being such an idealist. Who can blame you when you’re in your twenties?

So far, I have names for the mayor and the vice mayor positions. Whew… that leaves around twenty more people to list down. I need to do my research to complete my list. Oh, and it’s my first time to use a PCOS machine.

Good luck, Pinoys! Vote wisely.

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Ever wondered how’d it go if you name your computer docs, graphics, files, and folders in the local dialect? Well…they read weird. Not an “ew” weirdness, but a beautiful and romantic feeling of weirdness, char.

The conscious mind tells us that a computer is something English in nature. But is it really? Commands, buttons, notifications–unless you have other foreign language as the default like French–are all in English. Automatically, we save our files in…English…ta-da! However, there are no restrictions as to how you name your files, really-really. You can name your files in any way that you like, unless a dialogue box pops up to say you’re doing it the wrong way. Some young people would even name their files like how they text from their cell phones–jejemon style but still in English.

But why should you name your computer documents, files, and folders in Binisaya? Because you will like it, I promise you–well, if you choose to be on the same wavelength as me. It’s unique. It’s homey. It’s you, and you know it better than English. You can play with the words when you name your files using Binisaya.

At home, I name some of my folders and files in Binisaya because I am Cebuano, because I like to, and it’s our PC, hmmm. I labeled my flash drive Basyang. At work, I changed my personal folder’s name to “mga hinimo ni Deb.” So far, I’m having fun naming my files in Binisaya.

Want an online source for those hearty, unique, and fun way of naming your files? Check out http://www.binisaya.com/cebuano. It’s a helpful Binisaya online dictionary.

Ironically, the blog is written in English–haha…

Have a cheerful day!

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On friendship and such…

Hiraeth and Saudade

Jack walked slowly toward the playground where he and his best friend Finn frequent. There in one of the swings, Finn sat quietly, rocking slowly back and forth. His eyes were fixed on the ground, anger and disappointment blaze.

“How dare you leave me like this,” Finn murmured.

Jack moved in even closer. “Hey, buddy. Are you mad at me?”

Finn did not respond. He clinched his teeth. He did not even look on Jack’s direction.

“Buddy, I’m so sorry all right?” Jack said, moving even closer to Finn. “I did not mean to leave you like that yesterday. I wanted to wait for you before leaving, but it rained so hard and I had to pick my sister up from her school. Please, talk to me, will you?”

Finn stood up and moved to the jungle gym. He reached one of the nearest bars and lifted himself. “You should…

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Though Untimely

It happens I’m still lost. I never gave a thought about your natal day, actually. The people who loves you remind me of it. At a couple of posts, I gave away to tears. I cannot still get you in me. I am still guarded, walled, and full of doubt. I cannot see what they have seen. I cannot feel what they are feel for you. I cannot fathom what it is, I cannot. Please do not shake me beyond what I may not be able to contain. I seek you. Please come to me. Please let me know, give me a sign.

Why can’t I see you like your son? Why do you remain a human to me? Why can’t I believe in anything everybody believes in? I do not want to pretend. I have changed my values and the gauge of faith I should have on certain matters. Why did you fell on that category? I used to believe so much in you or did I? I do not want to lie to myself nor the people around that I revere you as much as they do. No, I am not comparing. I am envious even. Envious because they see you as their mother and worthy of worship; I do not.

I do not want to worship you. I want you to be my friend, my mother, my mentor, my teacher. 

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Too

The first seconds

and the incoherent

opening and closing

never really reading;

between the lines

oh, can’t even see the spaces.

 

Blurry vision now

bobbing head,

nod-bob, slowly…

relaxing grip

momentarily focusing

trying… really trying

staring…

until all turns to white

then fade to black.

 

Pop!

 

Did I mention drooling?

 

Two in the afternoon,

two more hours to go,

too sleepy

to get through.

 

~inspired by Flint Lockwood

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Why can’t they just have multitudes of girlfriends and let the girls chase them? Why can’t they just have crushes and write love letters? Why can’t they just skip classes because they’re going for a swim? Why do they have babies instead?

And what have I done to prevent this? Should I be preventing early fatherhood? Whose choice is that anyway? Why should the burden be on the older siblings? Why should mothers suffer for impulsive acts? Did they lack constant communication? Whose ears were not listening? Whose decisions are these? Who is suffering now?

How can a child become a mother? Did she ever consider that her bump becomes a huge responsibility once the baby is out? How can she ever take care of someone totally dependent of her when she can’t even take care of her own personal hygiene?

—0o0—

Now, what had happened? How did the baby get sick? How did it become complicated? What will happen next? And your brain is groping in the dark to find as many pennies as you can? Decided to quit school? Decided to work instead? What will become of you? Stuck? Just like our father? How can you hastily make decisions again? Do you realize that there’s such thing called future? What are you going to do when it’s in your face? Mope? Cry?

Do you know why I’m saying this? Do you know how much we wanted you to finish school? Do you believe in better life? Do you know why we worked our asses out just to finish school and get decent jobs? Do you know how much we suffered? Do you know we do not want to go back there where suffering and empty bellies are? Do you know we want to pull all of you out of that mire? Do you know that it’s so difficult to deal with problems when them problems don’t know they are problems? How to solve this then? With more debts? Unpaid til death? Is that the life you want to have? The life you will provide for your children? Just like our father’s?

All we ask is, please, go to school and finish it. Money is as fleeting as leaves in the wind. You can catch some, but others will elude you. You need to equip yourself with catching nets so you can get more. Education can do that. Learn a skill. Don’t quit high school. Please.

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Almost Christmas, and here are a few reminders when shopping…

adoptingjames

I  couldn’t resist sharing this. I wrote this a couple of years back when I worked in retail. Have fun, laugh at yourself, and share with your shopping-crazy friends and family members. Remember, retail workers are people too!

Customer Etiquette: 10 Tips on How to be a Good Customer

As you gear up for your holiday shopping spree, keep in mind that as soon as you step foot inside a store you cease to be an average law-abiding citizen and you instantly become a dreaded customer who is the cause of raised blood pressures amongst retail workers everywhere.

But you don’t have to be a loathsome customer. You can make the decision right now to be a customer who takes retail workers by surprise and actually walks in and out of the store with little or no lasting consequence to anyone. Below are ten tips to help you be that…

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