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Posts Tagged ‘family’

This should be short. 😀

I have this attitude to never give up until I get it right or I get what I want when I set my mind on something.

If I have made a final move to leave him and break our family, what would there be? What will become of our children? What will become of us?

I am an advocate of having a complete family—together and living in the same house, at that. I don’t believe—not right now—that parenting or being a family can be done rightly when the pack is not living together. Sorry for being stubborn.

Amid and after all that had happened to me and my husband, I still believe that we can make this family better and stronger. I still believe that people change for the better. I always believe in moving forward together.

We sure have a lot of differences and we sure have a lot of disagreements. However, we slowly make amends and develop into two people who think more about the welfare of our small family and less of our personal gains. I now know how to shut my mouth, and he now knows how to help me with the chores without my telling. I now know how to support his interests, and he now knows how to respect my crying over a cheesy movie. We now both read—different books, yes, but we now both do something together. And, golly, how much we sing together during weekends!

We still keep each of our own money. We still buy our own share of expenses separately. I pay for our daughter’s school fees, he pays for our son’s. He still has the habit of throwing everything on the floor. I still don’t like to pick them up for him. He likes to play the blame game and I don’t have a lot of patience.

There are things we can live with and there are as many things we can’t stomach. There are two people in this relationship, two different people with different personalities. We have to compromise and meet in the middle.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think of giving it all up sometimes. In fairness, we didn’t plan about anything before we got married. We didn’t plan about a house, how many kids, who’s going to keep the money, whose this and that—didn’t. That’s a mistake on our part. But we need to keep moving forward and patch up those holes and level in those humps because we are here and we have a family.

Whenever low times hit me, I will always remind myself that we are not perfect people. We grow, we wither, then we grow stronger. We just can’t give up because we don’t like what we feel and see. We will always be a work in progress, and we shouldn’t and wouldn’t give up—not yet.

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A few people wondered why the first holy communion of the school is given a year early. My response to that: the modern child is exposed to the different media at a very early age, why not introduce God and his love early too?

That right moment has finally come. He works in mysterious ways? Yes, and also in obvious step-by-step ways. Yesterday, Peetah my eldest, received his first holy communion. It’s a milestone for every Catholic. As a relearning Catholic, it’s a big sign for me!

It was my first time to attend a holy communion activity, aside from mine, of course. It was a solemn, smooth, and very organized event.  We accompanied Peter to the altar during the introductory parade and during the communion rites. He received a certificate and a rosary and rosary guide as a gift. The kids were responsive and really participated during the mass, and their teachers were there to help and guide them.

When a child receives his first holy communion, he already has the responsibility to attend the mass and the parents or guardians or teachers should explain to him the importance of attending it, what it is for, and what are the basic no-nos while in the church. It may be unfortunate for my son that his mom had been staying away from the church for years, but I believe, it is the right time to start over again. We will learn this together.

It is about time too to introduce the saints and Mary to him. I had a difficult time understanding about worshipping the saints and Mary and praying the rosary. Thanks to an Augustinian friend for his help with reading materials and websites, I came to understand that we do not worship the saints and Mary, but we ask their intercession, their help; and we ponder about the legacy they leave on earth before becoming saints—how they were transformed by their faith and love to God and became role models for us.

Side note: Bringing the Kids to Mass
While it is a great practice to attend the mass with every family member present, I believe bringing along the small ones isn’t practical and not helping the parents most of the time—except when your kids are well-behaved and would just sit and stay put. We attend mass to pray together as a church, to hear the Word, and to learn from the homily. With our attention divided between the mass and the kids, we can’t concentrate on the mass—which is the reason we are in the church at that certain time, right? My kids can stay on their seats for the whole duration of the mass; however, they can’t help teasing one another, so my husband and I would sit between them—out of each other’s reach. They can’t also help but notice other kids eating while the mass is going on and would eventually beg to have something to eat. After a few episodes of the consequences attending mass with our kids, I decided to stop bringing them along, and I eventually stop attending mass because I can’t leave them in the house without someone to take care of them.

Wrapping up, it’s about time we attend mass together as a family. Peetah now knows what to do during mass, and the little sis will copy his big bro. I’m sure of it.

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This year, me got a long list of projects, things to make, and things to buy. Having a new home will always be a challenge to fill. On my part, it’s a torn between vintage and minimalism themes. To resolve this very personal (haha) issue, vintage will be my decor during the holidays, and I will keep the minimalist me the entire year.

Why minimalism? It’s a personal choice. I like the calm and clean feel of seeing less but functional things around–my kind of minimalism. As a mom, it helps seeing the kids’ clatter right on (because of the space) and have the kids pick them up. Yes, medyo OC me, but it keeps things organized with the kids and their mountain of toys.

Why vintage? It’s romantic ambiance makes me more womanly, ladylike in a way (haha). I love floral prints and tan and cream shades—the main reasons.

Gearing for this year’s move-in, I need to reorganize the list into sections/parts of the house to balance the purchasing activities. This means I will buy one thing for each section of the house—utensils for the dining, knife for the kitchen, pillow for the bedrooms, curtains for the living room, etc. This way, there will be no area where it’s bare as we go along. We will see the improvement coming from all corners of the house all together at the same time. I have this tendency to load up on one side until it’s done and complete then work on one other part after. This typically tips off the scale on one bulgy side, and I am correcting it.

Since we already have the basic furniture, budget for each month would be P2000. It’s not much, but it’s all I can spare. Anyway, this is a slowly-but-surely goal which will never end, I guess. Imagine stopping improving your home…never!

The front yard would be a different scene–green. I plan to keep the rural environment alive by having a vegetable and flower garden. Yes, Sir Kit, I will.

Staying positive and proactive…♄

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I know this might sound unfair to my husband that he’s not in the title. Well, for one, he doesn’t want me to stop working. I understand the inner plea of help to finance our little family–he’s too cute to say that.

Last month was a turmoil. Inside. The world can still hear my Sharon Cuneta laugh. However, deep inside, the war between being a full-time mom and a working mom is at its peak. All the while, I wanted to tell my husband I’d like to stop working and be with the kids. While all that time, I was trying to convince myself to go on with my job–the job I never dreamed of having.

Whoever dreamed of designing books? Really, I think no one unless you’re in college and your degree is related to designing or publishing. But this job made my day. This job rocks! This job–book layout or designing the interior of a book–is a subconscious dream that came true; and the pay, my friend, is great. Literally, the pay is fat; and figuratively, the pay is awesome–I get my name printed in every book I get to design. How cool is that?

One more side of the job is that this is me and mine. This is something that I am passionate with. This is something I can tell my grandkids about. Something I can show my kids I can do with confidence and with a happy smile. This is the me my mother knows as her daughter. She’s always overwhelmed about the books I and my sister read and have since grade school days.

The other side of this coin is my kids–the life of my life. The two things I would not alter if I’d be given a chance to get inside a time machine. With work between them and me, I feel guilty most of the time. Guilty that I can’t be there with them during the day like other moms. Guilty that I can’t send to and fetch them from school everyday like other moms. Guilty that when they get home from school, they won’t find me there waiting for them. Guilty that I don’t cook for them because we don’t have our own kitchen, our very own home yet.

I feel the need to stop working to be with the kids–to be a real mom to them. Apparently, this is the modern era where moms go out to work and not manage the household. I explained to each of my kids why I have to go to work everyday whenever they cry and hug my leg on my way out. They find it quite absurd to work so I can buy them toys, clothes, food, video games, and to pay for tuition. Papa has to do that part, they say. How I wish life is as easy as that. But no. It’s not. But what’s there to do? Win the lottery?

What I have come up to appease my ever-growing guilt is to believe that everything is temporary. The kids will grow and the needs will not be the same as they are right now. I know more will be expected from each of us, but that thought is being held in the back of my mind as of the moment. Right now, I have to focus on getting my daily goals on track so I can come home with more energy than before. With that, I can spend hours with the kids before we retire at night. Because I can’t send  them off to school in the morning, I will fetch them from school in the afternoon. Because I can’t cook for them during weekdays, I will cook for them during weekends. We can spend an hour for assignments together each night and watch movies on Friday and Saturday nights. Do some art and other crazy things on Sunday mornings and nap together in the afternoons. Sounds simple, and in reality a difficult sked to keep. But God helps to those who make things work out. I know and I believe.

I can’t quit from work, and I can’t take my kids for granted. They need me. God gave them to me as my charges, my responsibility. I take care of them because I’m their mom. But there are other needs to be met too. Most of these are for them and for their future. I know they understand. They’re smart kids.

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It’s amazing that after all these years of anime evolution and invasion my husband and I still drop our jaws at Dragon Ball Z. We love the Saiyan transformations, the whole villain crew and Goku’s down to earth nature. We’ve watched the sagas since we were kids and used to draw them. Dragon Ball Z and Son Goku has been around for more than two decades but the costumes never fade and that spiked hairdo will always be legendary.

Goku has this adorable smile and a big heart for humanity and the earth. His wife, Chi-chi, is such a strong and patient woman. Though a lot of times she’s worried about her family’s safety, Goku has her back. Their sons are Saiyans too, like their father. They transform into Super Saiyans in different levels and can do fusions—uniting two Saiyan into a super powerful one. Gohan, Goku’s eldest son is an intelligent kid and Goten is as playful as his father. I like their shoes and it’s always a dream to own a pair of those. Haha… some weird woman I am.

For my son’s generation, Dragon Ball Z is an oldie but not for him. He adores the anime just as we, his parents, do. He even wants a Goku costume made for him… some cosplay, he’s thinking. Maybe it’s a matter of introducing it to him but I believe interest has its own soul.

For his birthday, he requested a tarp with Goku in it. I thought he’d go for another anime he likes. His father is so happy to know that he and his son has something in common.

These days we are backtracking the Dragon Ball Z saga. We are not over with the first few episodes yet but surely we will be able to watch all of them.

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