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How are you? How are you doing?

The social media sites are a superb communication tool for people who are far away from each other, even those who have not seen each other for a week. Have you noticed, we have this amazing default greeting—or question—when we start communing: How are you? How are you doing? Of course, you do. We ask this every time.

Isn’t it heartwarming to hear someone who wants to know how you’re doing? There might be people who ask merely because that’s how it is, but all the same, I treat that question a reality check.

When someone asks “How are you?” the even more default answers are “I’m fine” and “I’m good.” Are you really doing fine? Are you really doing good? I have read from a post that when women say they’re doing fine or good, they are actually not.  Why do we have to answer the default? Because we’re not that close with the person? Because we don’t want them to worry? Why hide the truth?

I use these questions as a reality checker. Am I really okay? When I’m not, I say so to those who are close to my heart. They would know why or ask why, anyway. I know they understand why I’m not okay. They have known me for years.

On the other hand, when someone I know asks me, I visit the time of my life where I met that person and answer from there. I might be feeling down at that time, but I just can’t say I’m such a mess.  I met a wonderful mom when I was with a newspaper company. She’s now living abroad and she asked me how I’m doing. I’m doing good with regards to my career, so I answered her that I’m doing well. It’s the truth. In a way, because I said I’m doing great, I feel great. I hold on to that positive feeling that I’m actually doing good even though there are certain areas in my life that sucks right now.

We have a choice to answer the areas in our lives we are actually doing good—career, love and relationship, studies, finances, etc. If not all, one or two of these aspects should be doing good.  We tend to hide the real status because it might sound routine or overwhelming to others and they don’t know us that way or have come to know us that way and we try to mask it. Anyway, when we’re happy, we answer away with a smile! However, at times when we are down and the question pops, it can help us feel good to say, “I’m okay.” Then, we really mean it. It might suddenly hit us that we can be okay and we can start at that moment.

The next time someone asks, “How are you?” think of the good and bright side of life—not just answer the default—smile, and with all your heart, say, “I’m doing great!” You’ll never know what positive thinking can do.

The next time you ask someone how he or she’s doing, remember she might be in deep sh!#@ right now but she will say that she’s fine. Might as well say, “Great to hear that!” She might need that extra lift.

Merry Christmas!

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