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Posts Tagged ‘post a week’

a call. a plea.

even for just a day
give peace a chance
let silence wash
your fevered vein
unclog it from
the unnecessary
blabbering
going, muttering, rashing
shouting, blasting, ranting
of the unimportant

even for just a day
i want my peace back
that peace where
the palm leaves rustle
the breeze is light
the waves genlty splash
the laughter is pure
the eyes are closed

to have peace with you.

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the foolish artist opens the paint
from the start button
to express her deeps
on a fake canvas

all along
scratching lines of
anger
disappointment
brushing tears
on a fake canvas

that’s all she could
cry
lament
from the prison
she created
on a fake canvas

trapping all uncertainties
imprisoning negatives
shouting despair
throwing fears
on a fake canvas

hahh…
she is relieved
the tears dried up
wondering when
will the next downfall be
her fake brush now rests
on the fake canvas.

from me to you

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curving lines run
up and down the street and
you follow every smooth, dainty swirl
dancing, curving your body as well

it must be the rain
who made the small curving river
eroding the brown earth gently
each grain flowing, pushing
swirling like stripes of chocolate ice cream

and you sit by its tiny bank
poking the wet, chocolatey brown sand
trying to pick up some
feeling the smooth mix
swirling on your palm

sitting by the tiny bank
beside the street
after the rain
trying to eat
the tiny chocolatey river of sand

yum! hahahah…

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only happy thoughts should
burst from my moment purse
fishing, digging with tongue protruding
eyes widening, pupils dilating
aha! here…

i love to count my treasure
with my toes, with my fingers
golden friendship
rainbows of happiness
laughing memories
i keep in my moment purse

and when time comes i get
down, to the bottomless ground
sinking, drowning, almost consumed
i fish in my moment purse
for a happy thought!

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I wrote this letter to a friend for a personal quest to understand something I am losing. You might find this a bold move or you may not like this but I have to find some answers to questions that have been bothering me for a while. Yeah, I can ask a priest, my husband, or someone else but I chose Franz. Almost a decade ago, I remember him saying something about faith that caught my attention and made me pause for a minute. My quest to understand Mary’s role in the church reminds me of that moment. Please bear with me. I am not a hateful Christian, I just want to express.

Dear Franz,

I don’t think praying to Mary makes sense anymore. Please forgive me for traversing the doctrine of our religion. I lost it. Maybe because I find more sense in an article from another religion’s magazine I read a few years ago. Or maybe because nobody can point a single verse in the Bible that says we should worship her. I don’t even think praying the rosary is worth it because it’s all about Mary and less about Jesus. There is a verse in the Bible about repeated prayer being unnecessary. I found praying novenas even not worth it, too. I believe praying from the heart is much better and actually gives you a sense of relief after saying it. Desiderata says to be at peace with God, whoever I perceive him to be. I perceive him as a big-hearted guy who loves me. He’s an entity who decides on his own and no one knows what he will do contrary to the usual berating of the oldies “masuko ang ginoo ana” as if they know him that much. I believe that my God is someone who gives me what I deserve not what I desire. I have no hatred over Mary whatsoever. I just find the worshipping part not biblical. I know this is bold but I think the Catholic made her a vain person. We never met Mary but we know she’s Jesus’s mom. She’s been described as humble, beautiful, full of grace, prayerful. Then how come, this time, she wants us to pray to her? Did she really say that to the three children in France? Are we just making an idol out of her? I don’t pray to the saints, either. I know I have become someone so unCatholic. The saints do inspire me because they keep their faith until the end.

Please enlighten me. I have no other person to go ask about this. This has been in my vein for more than two years and I need to find answers if what I am thinking is correct or should I lose faith. I don’t even like to go to church (sa ato). I find the homily nonsense and I long for a better understanding about our religion. I have questions popping out of my head and I can’t find the answers like why is Jesus’s teenage life not in the Bible? Is it not worth printing? But the biggest issue for me right now is Mary. I am a mother and I was taught as a child to look up to her and pray to her because she is the mediatrix. But Jesus said he is the way, the truth and the light and that no one can get to the Father except through him. It confuses me every time I think about these things. However, I am compelled to think because I want to establish something in me, something I’m not sure about and wanted to find out. I hope you understand my dilemma.

Please don’t get mad at me.

Thank you for your time. I hope you can give me answers.

** Someday, I will post what I have learned from this quest…

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Blog of a Lost Boy

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Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems

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